Thank you, Cameroon

This has been the most incredible experience of my life, without any doubt. I am so glad, so fortunate, to have had this opportunity. I am incredibly thankful to Cameroon, and all the phenomenal people in Muambong in particular, for hosting me for the past two and a half years. Thank you for enriching my life, helping me grow, and teaching me about what is important in life. You have made me truly happy.

Things Cameroon Has Taught me:

1. Do things that make you happy.

            You are in charge of your own happiness. Life is short and it’s silly to waste it wondering what will happen next, worrying over nothing, or being stressed out. Don’t waste time on things you don’t like. Don’t let inconsequential things upset you. Don’t drag yourself down. Keep a positive attitude and make your own happiness. Appreciate what you have. Take awe in the little beauties in the world. Find what fulfills you, and do it. Embrace and carry out whatever it is that fulfills you. Simply, do things that make you happy.

2. That luxuries are just that—luxuries, not necessities.

We get caught up with so many things that we think we need, but in reality we can get by on very little. We become so dependent on material things that while helpful, are not truly necessary, and suddenly we don’t know how to function without them. Electricity, running water, your own car, dishwashers, phones, internet. All great things, but in reality, they are so easy to live without. In fact, many of these so-called luxuries actually become stressors in our lives, and sometimes, believe it or not, life can be a whole lot simpler when they go away.

3. Discovering what is truly important in life.

             It’s not how many things you own or the newest gadget, it’s not the square footage of your house or the size of your salary. It’s the connections you make, the people you interact with, and what you do. You don’t need things to be happy. It’s something you hear a lot, but something I had never truly seen in action before. People here actually focus on what is important in life instead of running around trying to make money. And guess what? They’re happier than any other people I’ve known. People here value family, relaxing with friends, and simply enjoying life.  They live in the moment and cherish what they have. They have a lot less to be thankful for, in some ways, than their American counterparts, but they are happier (whether in spite of or because of, I’m still not sure). They understand what matters in life. At the end of the day, the things that are important are not things, but people. Your family, your friends, and taking the time to enjoy them.

4. How to stay positive and make the most of a situation. Adaptability and patience.

            So you just walked for an hour to have a meeting and no one is there. So you have to sit around for the whole morning because the bus is delayed. So it takes an entire day to send one email. So what? What does that really matter? Instead of worrying so much about what comes next, enjoy what is happening now. Time is not what is so important, but what you do with your time. Enjoy it. You can stress that your bus is an hour late or you can pass the time sitting with strangers and have a good time. Patience. Life is short. Appreciate it. Prosper in it.

5. How to be comfortable in your own skin. You are who you are.

            I have always been confident in who I am, but I have never before been so blunt about showing it to others or felt so accepted. I cannot hide here. I am a small white girl and everyone knows it. There is no point in trying to conceal anything or trying to alter myself. I don’t wear makeup, I don’t wear fancy clothes, I don’t try to modify my behavior or my opinions. I don’t try to fit in, because I know I never can. And yet, I am so incredibly accepted here. People see past flaws, past appearances. People love me for who I am, truly. Don’t be afraid to show who you are. Be you.

6.     How to say no and how to assert yourself.

     Saying no can be hard. It can also be very important. I have become very good at saying no— whether it’s to the stranger on the bus who wants my number, the village who wants me to give them a bulldozer, or the chief who wants me to take him to America. I have learned how to assert myself and even further, how to voice my own needs. I know when to challenge someone else’s idea, how to stick up for my own beliefs and opinions, and how to ask for help when I need it.

7. How to laugh it off. Don’t let it get to you.

Sometimes you need to fight and defend yourself, other times it’s better to just let it go. Sometimes, it’s not worth it. You have the choice to let it get to you. You can get frustrated and angry, or you can chose to be positive. When your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere because the driver didn’t put in enough gas, when someone yells “whiteman” at you, or when the grown man mocks your accent, you can decide that it doesn’t really matter. Everything is easier when you’re happier. Learn to laugh at yourself and the situation. If you choose to take things lightly and not get worked up and go about with a positive attitude, things work out easier and better for you.      

                 

8. How to love. We are together. Take care of one another.

            People here are more connected to one another. Their connections are deeper, purer, and reach wider. They love everyone. They recognize that we are all humans, and that as such, we are together. We are one, and we must take care of one another accordingly. They welcome people into their communities openly, they feed anyone who comes to their door, they share money, they lend a helping hand, and they support each other. They don’t think individualistically, they think about everyone together. Their hospitality does not end at their own community. They love everyone and know how to truly care about one another. I have been welcomed with open arms and have been loved and supported by an entire community. It is indescribable and unlike anything I have experienced before. Truly an entire town loves me. People I barely know have risked their lives for me, have fed me, have looked out for me, have sheltered me, have taught me, have shared what little they have with me. I have learned a lot about what it means to love and what it means to take care of others, and that that love should be extended to everyone.

9. How to be someone worth caring about.

            In receiving so much care and support, I have also learned how to be someone worth caring about. To be grateful, to care about others in return. To take the time to create those relationships. To be friendly and interested, to think past one’s own self. To help, to listen. To be kind. It’s a two way street; in order for someone to care about you, you have to care about them. I have learned how to deserve their love.

10. How to be strong. Almost nothing can get to me.

            I have lived a lifetime in two years. I have encountered and experienced and dealt with things I never knew existed until now. I have pushed myself to the limit of my abilities, grown and adapted, learned, and thrived. I can face challenges in stride. I have been through a court case, I have seen the deaths of close friends, I have been exposed to pain and suffering, I have dealt with the hardships of life, I have challenged tradition and customs, I have faced sexism, I have worked with impossible people on impossible projects, I have learned, in short, how to be tough. I have discovered that I can get through it. I am more capable than I ever imagined. Bring it on.

11. Don’t wait.

            Take advantage of every opportunity you get. You never know what will happen next, so make the most of the moment. Whether it’s charging your batteries, filling your water filter, or visiting your friend, don’t wait. Do things when you have the chance—you never know if you will have the opportunity later. 

Comments that Raise Concern:

After doing the very simple procedure of changing a light bulb and your neighbor goes, “Hey! This girl does not fear electricity-o! I say!” Uh…should I not be doing this in the future?

Having your counterpart tell you, “You are a very good boy! You are a good boy!” …I’m a girl…you know that, right?

“I have prepared rat mole for you!”

Having your motorcycle rider tell you, “My bike does not have any brakes. That is why I keep asking you to get off when we go down hills.”

When the cab driver opens his door to shoo something out and someone asks, “A mosquito?” And he responds, “No, a small scorpion.”

“I dreamt about you last night. Cameroon was suiting you fine! You were pregnant.”

“It’s good to carry a stick when it’s sunny like this so you can kill the snakes” Uhh, I’ve been walking this path for over a year… why has no one warned me before today?

“Baby, you have no shame.” Said to a literal baby, who is still one year old.

“You look funny.” Would you care to qualify that? What exactly looks funny? Was it necessary to tell me?

“You will not leave this place. You will marry here. You will stay forever.” 

The Last Week

My last week at post has been hectic and turbulent, with a lot of mixed emotions. I had to say goodbye to the people, the place, and Peace Corps. This post is almost as chaotic as my week, but here it is.

 I was overfed in the extreme, and only had to prepare one meal for myself in the entire week. People were bringing over food at all hours of the day, trying to get me my last beans or ndolé or corn chaff. Someone would deliver a container of food (enough to feed probably five people) and then a few hours later, someone else would deliver another container of food. I was forcing myself to eat. I also had an endless supply of drinks. Seriously, endless. Every time I left my house someone wanted to buy me a drink. Eventually I started to just stay inside.

I was also trying to pack, which was not made any easier by my addiction to getting clothes made in this country. I had around 20 items of clothing made by my tailor, who worked incredibly hard to get everything done in time. It’s probably for the best I’m leaving so that I can’t order any more clothes.

I had to say goodbye to everyone, which was no easy task. I got choked up trying to say goodbye to some of my closest friends and people who have become like mothers or fathers to me. During the last few days many of my favorite kids came over to visit me. One of them told me, “Auntie Allely do not go.” I told her I was sorry, but it was time for me to return home. I said I would try to come and visit in a few years, maybe 2 years, maybe 5 years, and she responded, “It should be two years.” Similarly, I was informed by my counterpart that I was supposed to come and visit within two years and that I should have a husband and two kids (specifically one boy and one girl) when I came to visit.

On top of all of that, I was still trying to get everything set with the water projects. My days were also spent rushing around between Nzimbeng and Akid putting things into order.

In between my running around, I also had the opportunity to see one last baby delivered at the health center. On my last day at post, my friend’s wife went into labor and gave birth to a beautiful girl. They named her Nzelle Allely as a tribute to me and I could not be more honored.

My last night in village, I gave the neighborhood children glow sticks as a goodbye present and caused absolute mayhem. The kids had never seen glow sticks before and were enchanted by them. I gave out three and within 10 minutes I had a gang of kids, some of them even from the next village over, begging for more. I gave out around 60 glow sticks and could then see them floating up and down the street as the children ran around.

On my last morning, all the motorcycle riders came to pick up my things and tie them to the bikes. It took three of them to transport me and my luggage out of the village. All the children and all of my nearby neighbors came out and gathered at my house to see me off.

It has been an incredible experience. I have lived without hot water. I have lived without a refrigerator. I have lived without access to internet. I have lived without cell phone service. I have lived without reliable electricity. And yet, I have truly lived and I have found happiness.

I have built two water systems, given out over 450 pairs of reading glasses, taught nutrition lessons to 221 students and 268 community members, given medication and education to over 226 epilepsy patients, taught 17 motorcycle riders about alcohol and HIV, reached hundreds of people about malaria, conducted a pen pal program for elementary school students, climbed a 13,300 foot mountain, gained countless friends, been given a plot of land, had a river named after me, had a baby named after me, been named the mother of the village, and have fallen in love with a country and its people. 

Send-Off Party

All of Muambong was involved in my going away party, called a send-off party here, and it was certainly a big event! To give you an idea of the size, my fellow PCV stated it was “more attended than a Beyoncé concert.” Literally all of my village came out for the event. We started things off by respecting the proper protocal. I waited at my house until the Clanhead came to get me. 

Then we walked along the road in a procession lead by the Clanhead to the event hall (aka the health center), where we were seated at the high table (the table reserved for “big men” and other notables). Then there were several speeches given by the Clanhead and several other chiefs, thanking me and wishing me well, and reminding me to greet my parents upon my return. There were also several dismayed comments relating to the fact that I have not married a Cameroonian. From there, we moved on to food and drink. The women in my party prepared food all day the day before, including ndolé, black soup, corn chaff, chicken, and a goat. Yes, we slaughtered a goat. That was rather gruesome, but the meat was delicious. 

In addition to my own group of women preparing food, each village prepared its own food and brought it to the event. The result: an excessive amount of food and palm wine. 

There was enough to feed all attendees from all 14 villages. People were squeezed into the health center and scattered all over the yard and street. After the official event, the party continued in the bars and clubs. It turned into a massive village dance, and after each song there was chorus of “Allely hoyay!” (a celebratory salute) and “Auntie Allely!” I certainly felt appreciated and absolutely had a blast. I will really miss my village and everyone I have met here. 

Food Demonstrations

Elizabeth and I finally got around to doing food demonstrations with some local women. I have worked on nutrition before and have found that it is a real problem in Cameroon. People do not often eat the right proportions of food and focus on starch-heavy diets. We are trying to promote balanced meals and fresh vegetables. Food culture here includes a lot of boiling, often for hours, removing a lot of the nutrients from the vegetables. Elizabeth and I therefore chose to do some cooking lessons to promote improved diets. We attended a women’s group meeting and taught them how to make salad, vegetable soup, and grilled green beans. We shredded cabbage and cut up tomatoes and carrots and put hardboiled eggs into the salad and created a vinaigrette dressing. I told the women they could even eat tomatoes raw and had them try some wedges. They thought that was absolutely hilarious and I don’t think any of them will ever do it again, but the salad was a bigger success. 

Those women chowed down! They loved the dressing and were happy that it didn’t include mayonnaise (commonly used here) as it was “more economical.” Even the kids came in to eat the salad. And, two weeks later, three of the women who had attended our meeting prepared salads on their own and invited us over to eat them! Success! We also made a simple vegetable soup. The idea here was that it is similar to their other foods but that they would not end up throwing out the water (and the nutrients with it). The women also loved this. We put in cabbage, carrots, potatoes, green beans, and a few other random items. We cooked in a traditional kitchen over an open fire, which really pleased the group. “This African woman!” was shouted a lot. We finished the lesson by preparing the green beans, which were very tasty, but not as much of a success as the other dishes. Apparently lightly cooked greens are just too different from the local food. The women tasted it and ate it, but they were not gone and people weren’t fighting over who got to eat what as they did with the other meals. 

Final Update for Nzimbeng

The water project in Nzimbeng is also (mostly) finished! They have completed building the storage tank and filter and last weekend they finished digging and we connected all the pipeline and built stand taps. 

Unfortunately, the catchment the local technician built at the river was not quite what the engineer had designed. The engineer will come out to see if it will still work or if modifications or rebuilding are necessary. Aside from that hitch, however, the system is complete and ready to go! The Nzimbeng people have been incredibly motivated and hardworking. They are so thankful for the chance to have water. They are eager to have everything working and are doing everything in their power to get it to that point. I would like to thank everyone who contributed to the project—we are all very grateful. 

The Nimbeng people showed their thanks to me by messages into the concrete and by giving a gorgeous handcrafted statue. The statue depicts community members rising up a central figure to show how the community came together to support me and lift me up. 

I am so happy for them and cannot wait for them to have a functional system! While I will not see the end of this project, my replacement volunteer is more than ready to take over, and I know she will help them succeed getting water.