Travel

Travel in this country is always an event. Today, it was especially exciting. It started when I agreed to transport two kittens to their new owners. This particular drive normally takes three hours over an unpaved road. I had a box for the cats and figured I would carry the box on my lap and that would be that. How hard could it be? That was my first mistake. I loaded into the car, pressed up against the door and a woman next to me. In all, there were eight people in the car, plus the two cats. I had the box on my lap and we hit the road. Off to a great start! We were moving along when suddenly, there was a loud PSHHHHH and the tire had burst. We had not been driving for 20 minutes. Not an auspicious start. But we all got out, the driver changed tires, we loaded back in, and were off again! 

View from the road where we got a flat tire.

The car started to get quite hot. The sun had come out and body heat was taking its toll. Only the two front windows worked. There was not enough air circulating. Maybe 30 minutes after the tire incident, the woman next to me takes out a plastic bag. She opens it up and gets it ready. The driver wants to continue, but we beg him to pull over. He finally acquiesces. The woman gets out, vomits a bit, then we all climb back in. The car is really getting miserable at this point. It’s sweltering. We’re all sweating, but there is absolutely no relief and our sticky bodies are all pressed against one another. I manage to physically pull down the window with my hands. Finally, air! The window goes down about half way, but it’s better than nothing. At least the top of my forehead gets a cool breeze. Then we hit a really bad part of the road. It’s been bumpy the whole way, but now it’s totally uneven and there’s a lot of mud. We bottom out and the car starts sliding sideways and soon we are stuck. Everyone has to get out. Now, remember the car was stuck because of mud. That means we all had to get out in calf-deep mud and trek through it for a few minutes. It oozed between our toes and covered our shoes and legs and was totally messy and gross. We then had to wait half an hour while a team of men dug out the car and pushed it to safer ground. Then all of us walked down to the river to wash the mud off of our bodies. We got back in the car. We start driving again, only to have another tire burst. We all have to get out again, and begin to walk down the road as the driver changes tires. I have to scoop up my skirt to prevent it from dragging in the mud, while simultaneously holding a box of kittens, while also worrying about where I step to make sure it’s not in any of the deep mud. It was a challenge. The cats also decided that now was the time to try to escape! They began clawing out of the box and pushing their little heads out. So now I was also occupied with pushing cats back into the box. A man, seeing my struggle, offered to hold the box of cats. "Are you sure?" I asked, "They’re trying to get out." He assured me he wanted to help and took the box. I am finally able to focus on where I am stepping and things are much better, until the man yells, “The cats are escaping!!” I drop my skirt and run over to him to push the cats back into the box, only to step into an ankle-deep pile of mud in my haste. The driver finished changing the tire and comes to collect us, only now my foot is coated in thick layer of mud. The river is no longer nearby. I look around. I begin to scrape off some of the mud with leaves. “We have no time! Get in!” Says the man in the front seat. “I beg,” I say, and continue to scrape at my foot futilely. I give up and get in. Now, the kittens have totally destroyed the box and cannot be remotely contained. I have to clamp it down and cover the top with both of my hands. Did I mention I’m allergic to cats? We get going again, but everyone has lost steam. We have to stop and trek through mud several other times. The driver pulls over to the side of the road and opens his door, and shoos something out. “A mosquito?” A man asks. “No, a small scorpion,” the driver responds. He shuts the door and we continue. Finally, five hours after our initial departure, we pull into the car park. The journey is over.

Joke!

The next day (as it was too late to catch a car to my next destination by the time we got in) I go to the bus station at 8:30am to catch a car. I go to buy my ticket. The bus is going much further than my own destination, and thus I only want to pay for a ticket to bring me to my location. However, they tell me I must pay the full price for the last stop that the bus will make. Does it make any sense? No. Do I try to argue in vain? Yes. He will not sell me a ticket for less than the full price to go to a place I will not go. Eventually I talk to his superior who has a bit more sense and get a slight reduction. I get onto the bus. Two hours later, we leave. This bus does not have windows that open. Instead, we drive with the door cracked and activate the emergency openings in the roof. It is still not enough air. We make pretty good time though. In fact, we save a few minutes by leaving one of the rest stops before all of the passengers are back on the bus. Just drove off while they were still in the bathroom. I arrive at my destination at 3:00pm. Am I done yet? Nope! The next morning I must go to the main street to catch a car. There is another man waiting on the roadside with me. We are able to catch the same car. I put my luggage in the back, and he moves to do the same. He has two giant, 100kg bags of raw meat, freshly butchered and still leaking blood. He throws them in the trunk as well. It smells. The smell is not good. After an hour in the meat locker, I arrive at my other destination. Still not over. I now must catch a motorcycle for a three hour ride to my house. I’ll let you imagine that one.