As I approach the one-year mark, I reflect on all the
reasons I love Cameroon.
1. It is the closest I will ever come to being a celebrity.
People know all about my life, while I don’t know their name. I can go to a
different town and someone will come up to me and ask me how my puppy is. Children
run up to me and poke me, just to say that they touched me. People show up at
my door simply to say hi, and then trek back to their village. Kids come
running out of their houses when I walk by. People stand out in the street
shouting my name and waving to me whenever I’m around. Mothers will give me
their babies to hold. Everyone wants to snap a picture with me. Random kids
will come up to me and hold my hand until I am walking down the road with a
trail of people touching random parts of my body. I will never again be
surrounded by so many people who care so much about me while knowing me so
little.
2. I am beyond prepared for the ice bucket challenge, should
anyone nominate me. You think you’re so hardcore for doing the challenge? I get
to do that every morning of my life here. Water comes out of my showerhead
after sitting in a high-altitude mountain jungle all night. Yeah, it’s pretty
cold. And guess what? It’s not hot here. Despite it being Africa and all that
you may be imagining, I am living on a foggy mountain. My showers are not
exactly enjoyable. But I’m also not screaming or running away every time the
showerhead turns on (like many of you do in the videos I’ve seen). While we’re
on this subject, most of my friends don’t even have running water. They have to
go walk to a pump and haul their water back. They think you’re crazy for
pouring a giant bucket of potable water—mixed with ice (a luxury I haven’t seen
in 12 months)—onto the ground. And you film yourself doing it. A bucket of
water here goes a lot farther than that. A single bucket can be a few baths, a
hand washing station, used for cooking, poured into a filter to purify for
drinking water, and then still used to wash your filthy stinky clothes. Don’t
believe how dire it is? Ask the particular volunteer who put his dirty bath
water into his water filter to drink later. But yeah, hey, a job well done to
you for dumping that water on your body to get out of donating to a charity and
having the internet capabilities to upload it so all your friends can see the
struggle you went through. Ashia to you.
3. Where else can you hear, “I have prepared rat mole for
you. Will you eat?” And under what other circumstances would you actually try
it? And when else would rat mole actually turn out to be pretty good?
4. There is no focus on your appearance. There is nothing so
humbling as not showering for a week, forgetting what makeup is, and wearing
clothes that reek of mold. The thing is, it doesn’t matter. People are still
happy to see you. They clap and give you giant hugs. They even tell you that
you look beautiful. They compliment your dirty hair, they point out your strong
feet, they say you have nice eyebrows, they tell you they love your dress. You
also don’t have to worry about gaining weight, because everyone wants you to be
fat! They are actually disappointed if you haven’t put on a few pounds. They
say things like, “See your stomach is like your back! There are even no
intestines in there! You must eat more!” And then when you do eat some more
they say with pride, “You are really getting bulky!” And they cherish you even
more.
5. Picking your nose in public is totally acceptable. I’ll
admit, I haven’t exactly caught on to this one. It’s still a bit strange to me
to be making eye contact with someone or be in the middle of a conversation
with someone who is picking their nose. But I will say that I think the concept
is kinda cool. No shame.
6. Witchcraft.
7. I will never in my life get more marriage proposals. I won’t. It’s the sad truth. I have
already hit my peak. But the good news is that my peak is going to last for a
solid two years. I literally don’t think a week has gone by where I haven’t had
at least one proposal. The man sitting next to you on the bus, your moto
driver, some stranger walking by on the street, your friend who you’ve already
said no to fifty times, a gendarme officer, a guy who claims to be president,
the village chief, that bartender you once bought a drink from… all perfect
candidates to propose to you! Declarations of love are made in all forms, from
poems to general shouts to kissing the soles of your feet (see previous post).
You’ll receive texts like, “Good evening beautiful, since the first and last
time that I saw you I thought that you pleased me and want to see you again.
Make me a sign that you accept.” And, “Dier my name is frank, pliers I will
call u latar, I nerd to see u. I am mad becurs of u, pliers I will u good bye
kiss frank?” Who wants to miss out on gems like those?
8. Outfits here are incredible. Style takes on a whole different meaning. I believe I have alluded to
some of the androgyny that occurs with clothing here (like guys wearing shirts
with extra fabric clearly meant to be filled by breasts, or grown men in pink
sandals with sparkley flowers), but I want to reiterate it. People have some
really great outfits. When else in my life will I get to see an 18-year-old boy
wearing a shirt that says, “Do you have enough footballs for a girl like me?” Or
a tough moto driver with a pink silk jacket with the word “Pretty” in silver
rhinestones on the back? Or people wearing santa hats seriously? The answer is,
I won’t. So I’m going to enjoy it while I can. One of my favorite pastimes is simply observing what people are wearing. You might be having the worst day in your life, but then some man is
going to walk by in a denim suit with “Mishel Obama” written on the front
pocket while also sporting a zebra-striped pimp hat and wearing pink sketcher
shape-ups, and the world is good again.
9. People have a true enthusiasm for life here. Even the
smallest of things can bring massive enjoyment. For example, my carpenter
noticed a glade air freshener cone that I had originally brought from the US. He
asked if I had an extra. I didn’t, but I told him I’d have my parents
include one in the next care package. They did. I went to his house and
delivered it. You would have thought I had told him he had won the lottery. He
went batshit. I don’t think I have ever been blessed so many times at once
before.
10. I will never complain about potholes again. I have a new
appreciation for any type of pavement, no matter its condition. The roads in my
village have gotten so bad that people are using snow chains because of the
mud. Snow chains. No joke.
I am incredibly grateful for my year in the one and only C-roon. My
life will never be this exciting again.
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